Roadside memorials: public grief or public eyesore?

That is a headline in the Vancouver Sun today, Saturday November 20th.

What a powerful and emotional subject this is. Made even more so today as the Saddle Tramps prepare to remember 4 of their own who were killed earlier this month in a horrific head on crash.

This is one topic I have stayed away from for a long time, but now I think is the time to discuss the purposes and the needs for marking a place of passing - the time frames for doing so and size restrictions if any.

I am not sure how many of you have been doing any reading on the painful and tender topic of road side memorials, but it is a topic that is heating up right across this country.

With admitted reluctance, a growing number of Canadian municipalities are clamping down on roadside memorials and imposing restrictions on them. It’s a prickly debate that has ignited Internet discussion boards and newspaper opinion pages.(Quote from Vancouver Sun article)

Now most places have no rules in place to handle the memorials and there is a lot of blather about driver distraction (Yah like billboards and flashing lights and signs do nothing to distract us)...the problem with many of these memorials from what I understand is that they are not maintained, which has lead to comments and discussion about the memorials being eyesores. Other discussions have been that they make people sad and are upsetting or that they are an unwanted intrusion.

Cruel and hurtful words have been said on this topic. Grieving families do not see what they "need" to do as an intrusion or an eyesore. They see it as creating a place of worship and love.

The older memorials that have not been visited in a while is one thing - but those that are maintained and visited often are not eyesores - in my humble opinion.

I have enormous empathy for those who grieve over deaths that have taken place on the highway - I can never go to Sexsmith without saying a prayer for Ronnie at his "spot" - it remains unmarked but I know where it is.

I have some concerns on this topic too though - I am uncertain as to how to approach to subject and pray this comes across as respectful because the written word can be tough to deal with at times like this.

I read about a mother who weekly visits not her daughters grave, but the last place her daughter's spirit was - the memorial that marks that spot. While as a mother, I can understand the emotions and sentiment of this mother, I also think this is one mom who could benefit from some outreach.

Winnipeg let's a road side memorial stand for a year and then gives families the opportunity to have their loved one's name engraved on a light standard band at the light post nearest to the accident. I really like the option. I think for those who feel the need to have a road side memorial that that is a wonderful compromise to the emotion charged situation.

I personally think a road side memorial can offer a number of beneficial things...

The memorial helps families and friends feel in control of the grieving process according to

the expert quoted in the Vancouver Sun Story - Diane Purvey, an associate professor of history and education, at Thompson Rivers University in B.C., co-authored a book last year on roadside shrines called Private Grief, Public Mourning. (I can believe that statement.)

It also, in my humble opinion, can serve as a reminder to slow down and pay attention and

as an educational tool to teach curious children about love and death and mourning and paying attention when driving - that is is a huge responsibility - perhaps if they were taught these simple truths they will become better drivers than their parents are...

The cruelty and selfishness of some people still, even at 50 years old, surprises me. Compassion and empathy are two words I think people in this country need to start learning and to excersise their meaning....

Death, loss - it is so personal, so powerful, so consuming - for a time. The hurt, the missing - they never really go away, they fade and become less demanding but they are always there - waiting for an opportunity to remind you of the love you miss.

Having recently lost my kid brother at 48 - I am deeply aware of the pain that these people feel who need to have a road side memorial. 

I grieve at odd moments caught off guard by something that triggers a memory...

I understand the need to mark the passing but I urge all to remember that life is for the living and the best tribute you can pay to someone you love who is taken far too soon is to live well - to honor them by being the BEST that you can be, for if you allow your grief to consume you the passing of your loved one becomes even more tragic because it has left behind the walking dead as well.

I would welcome your feed back on this topic - just as I do with every topic. I love hearing different ideas and opinions...it is how we grow. You can join the discussion here in my blog (anonymous posts are not accepted - you must provide your name) On Face Book on the Belt Drive Betty & The Busted Knuckle Fan Page or in the forums on www.beltdrivebetty.com - you need to be a registered member...

There is a ton of stuff on the news again today:

Ontario is ramping up more motorcycle tourism

Edmonton Harley-Davidson has announced their Christmas Party and Customer Appreciation event

Azzkikr's in the lower mainland of BC is offering some great service deals to our members!

In Edmonton City council is playing the stutter step on the Noise Bylaw Issue - they are waiting for a court fight on the Motorcycle Noise bylaw - ANY TAKERS IN EDMONTON?

In the US noted tuner Eyvind Boyesen passed away last night. Tonight he is being inducted into the Hall of Fame.

There is so much more in the feeds today - but I also have a ton of work to do around the house that has been neglected for days so...

Have a great day and please take your time out there.

Belt Drive Betty

Editor/Rider

www.bustedknucklenews.com

www.beltdrivebetty.com

Been gone far too long...

I have just gotten through 5 of the most stressful days of my life - getting the community phone book ready for printing. It is the MOST nerve racking thing I have ever done. You worry yourself sick thinking you are going to miss an ad or have type "o's" (which I am famous for because you really can't proof read your own work - it just doesn't work).

None the less, I am finished, it's at the printers and good lord willing it will look as good in final copy as I feel it looks in PDF format.

The free book and membership cards will be available at the January bike shows in Calgary, Edmonton, Vancouver and in February at Saskatoon's new Motorcycle Show and Red Deer - they moved to February! In March we are planning on attending the Nation Motorcycle Show In Toronto - Carolyn Neveau is one of our RFBA business partners and hosts this particular show! I am looking into creative ways to get the books to riders for free in the East so if you have any ideas!!!

Otherwise you can order them on line but it costs $7.50 for shipping and handling - plus tax.
I am stoked as this year we have a ton of new sponsors - Intercon Messaging is offering their Never Ride Alone Program to all REGISTERED BDB Club Members - (remember MEMBERSHIP is FREE!)

We also have a much grown Canadian Riders Network - and their assistance will be available to our members through the same toll free number!

In all the membership card is good for special services and savings at over 300 Canadian Locations from Coast to Coast to Coast!

We are working on a ton of initiatives that could see this little plastic membership card be good for special services and discounts at over 500 businesses before long!

If you are not a member and not using your membership card for all of the perks it offers, well, you will be missing out and that would be a shame!

We are also looking at ways to reduce the cost of delivering the community newspaper and still comply with all anti spam laws etc... speaking of which - make sure you have us white listed in your emails address list (added as a contact)!

Our 2011 Beat the PMS Blues On Line Show n Shine is shaping up to have some FABULOUS prizes this year!

A Doran Tire Pressure Monitor is the Top prize - what a nifty idea this is! With an approximate retail value of $270 - I'd say that's a pretty good prize! 

To win you just need to share your photos with us!

We have hotel rooms, meals, camping, event tickets and more to hand out to the winners in the various categories because we have some awesome sponsors! You can live anywhere in Canada - the prizes come from ALL Over Canada!

Beginning January 1 you can start loading your photos into the contest gallery...voting begins February 5th and wraps up March 5th. Official winners list will come out on March 15th. Join us. We have a blast - it's a great way to deal with your PMS - no matter how severe! January 1st 2011 - Join us for Belt Drive Betty's Beat the PMS Blues On Line Show 'n' Shine!

It is totally the prescription for coping with PMS!

Don't forget to vote on the photos in our Ride like a Local contest! There are some 60 photos or so all vying for the prize of 2 nights hotel in a Canadian Community of your choice OR $150 cash.  You have to be a registered member at www.beltdrivebetty.com to vote - but with all of the perks that membership has, maybe now is finally the time for you to register! Vote Here: Rider Like a Local Photo Contest


Ali has our on line store resurrected and has gotten it kicked off with a few of the license plates we offer, next will come the subscriptions to the Busted Knuckle Chronicles Community newspaper, the phone book and then our bar and road signs.

$1 from every license plate we sell and $2 from every bar sign/road sign we sell will go into a pool that we will then donate to the CMTA for the Injured Riders Fund...
Over time we will add patches, tees shirts and other items - and again a portion of the proceeds will be donated right back to our community. I am proud to be a rider and proud to support our charitable causes and MY brothers and sisters of the family wind!
And Ali, our wonderful web mistress feels the exact same way!

There is so much in the news. My word - from US Motorcycle Missionaries being attacked in Haiti to Harley-Davidson's new advertising agency and a new way of advertising called Crowd Sourcing - there is one broad and wide variety of interesting stuff in the what's hot section on our site!

KTM is offering up a new bike as is Honda - but we here in North America can't have the new Honda.

In Edmonton the Police service wants the city to expand the noise bylaw to ALL vehicles....HMMMM - Liane Langlois - did your pressure finally pay off?

In the US - Helmets could become mandatory in all 50 states and the state of Oregon is investigating the practice of lane splitting


Well - I have a hugely busy day ahead of me and while there is MUCH MUCH more in the news feeds today I will leave it up to you to snoop and discover the gems for yourselves!

Belt Drive Betty
Rider & Editor

The Busted Knuckle Chronicles
www.bustedknucklenews.com
www.beltdrivebetty.com

From Bad to worse, the news is UGLY today

On W5 there was an in depth documentary on a predator.
Caron Oderbien - a grifter, a predator - call her what you will - I will call her evil.

The W5 investigation took 10 months to complete and uncovered  a lot of dirt on this gal who is reportedly living in the Camrose AB region - or she was up until the show aired.

Our troops, people with cancer - this broad milked a whole ton of us riders and a whole lot of other unsuspecting people. I will never understand why there are people like her - what made her the way she is, what made her - drove her to take advantage of the less fortunate, the ill and the infirm? I guess until she is caught we will never know, in the mean time this gal has left destruction, hurt and empty wallets in a rather large swath right across Canada and into the northern US.

Then in the US, tragedy struck the riding community in a large way again. Reminiscent of the crash last March in Phoenix, this one in Southern California has the Saddletramps Motorcycle Club devastated.

Celebrating the 10th anniversary of their club, riding down an undivided two lane highway and someone, pulls out to pass the riders with a car coming - in order to avoid a head on the driver of the oncoming car swerved to the right, went into the sand, over compensated, came back onto the highway and drive right in to the riders. The card driver who was passing the bikes in an unsafe manner was reportedly doing close to 100 mph.


 With 4 riders dead and the passenger of the oncoming car dead - this tragedy, highly avoidable is eerily similar to the Phoenix crash...I pray with all my heart for the families and friends of the dead riders. I pray for a speedy recovery of the injured and hope that the driver who never stopped - the SOB that caused the accident to get caught - SOON.

The driver of the oncoming vehicle was arrested for DUI but it is not believed that his alcohol consumption had anything to do with this accident.

As always, I love it when you wade in on the discussions of the day - today is no different.

Only thing is the discussions on FB have to take place on our Fan Page - I am at my max for friends on my personal page! So join us at Belt Drive Betty & The Busted Knuckle Chronicles
Or in the forums at www.beltdrivebetty.com or right here in my blog - I would LOVE to hear your thoughts on these two situations...what can we riders do to prevent being taken to the cleaners by the dishonest and what can we do to help prevent collisions like the on in SOCal?

Belt Drive Betty
Rider & Editor

The Busted Knuckle Chronicles
www.bustedknucklenews.com
www.beltdrivebetty.com