Feeling helpless...dealing with imminent death

This is a very personal subject. Death, having to say good bye.

My husband's best friend Dave was airlifted to the U of A in Edmonton from Dawson Creek about 12 days ago. He was unconscious and actually died three times on the way.

While I headed to Red Deer and the bike show and then in to Edmonton to see the old boy in the hospital, Mark headed to Dave's in BC and helped to secure his home and possessions and ensure that bills and mortgage could be paid on time to protect Dave's credit and possessions.  Mark is a worrier and frets over anything that affects his friends or family. He is compassionate and loving and very generous of heart. Don't get me wrong - he also has an iron wall that can come down - it very seldom happens, but when it does it is terrifying.

We got the call last night that every one dreads - the same one I dealt with last June when my brother was diagnosed terminal with lung cancer. Dave's condition had worsened - the doctors after running numerous tests finally figured out what was causing Dave's poor health and decline. He has esophageal cancer. The family is having an open house at the U of A for friends to come say good bye to Dave. On Sunday they will pull him off of life support.

Needless to say my husband was busy making phone calls to friends to let them know what's going on. The iron curtain has fallen and I seem helpless to be able to get through it. I know it will lift again and am working really hard to allow him to grieve in his own way.

He feels regret for not going to Edmonton to see Dave while he was conscious - doesn't know if he wants to go to see him now or to simply remember him as he was - apparently this very slight man is down to 80 pounds. Mark is torn. He and Dave had a holiday to Vancouver Island on the bikes planned for this riding season.

They will still go on holiday together but this time one won't come back. Dave's deepest desire is to have his ashes scattered at his mom's grave. So Mark and Dave's brother Scott are taking the trip together on bikes to do just that.

My  heart aches - Dave is my friend too and I feel rather helpless right now - I know what lies ahead and I am powerless to stop the hurt my husband is feeling - he's inconsolable - all I can do is be patient, give him whatever support he'll allow and let him grieve.

Love is a deep emotion - it brings with it immense highs and terrible lows - today is one of those terrible moments...God Speed Dave, be out of pain, know you are loved - it's OK to let go....We'll be OK.

I remember saying those words to my Dad, my Grandpa, my uncle and my brother...having to say good bye, giving them permission to let go...it a hard thing to do when all you want to do is beg them to stay, don't leave me....and yet - it is what we must do.

I love my family - the blood kind and the wind kind. 

As I said, love is a deep emotion and right now I feel very fierce and protective and yet helpless.

Today I really need you to know that no matter when we disagree - family we will always be and I do love you all in my own way.

Have a loving day today in honour of all those who are no longer with us and those whose departure is imminent.

Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider
www.beltdrivebetty.com
www.bustedknucklechronicles.com

Here we go again Alberta!

So - in spite of the fact that the first motorcycle noise tickets being thrown out of court (appeals pending apparently) Bragg Creek has decided to craft a noise bylaw - motorcycles being the main reason.

I suggest to anyone riding in the Bragg Creek area that they be careful - careful not to be in too large of a group, careful with that throttle hand - it is after all the rude and inconsiderate that have put this stupidity on the rest of us.

For the respectful rider I say - when you see someone being a self absorbed boob, your duty is to either inform them they are being selfish or to make sure that they are the one getting the ticket.

It is always the one who needs for others to notice them that ruins it for the rest - the old adage - one rotten apple spoils the barrel is very appropriate here.

This riding season - let's shock the heck out of those who want to see us corralled and hog tied...

Let's use respect with that throttle hand - in old folks home zones, hospital zones, residential areas and business districts - a little respect with that throttle hand will go a long way to repairing the relationship between riders and non riders...I'm just saying...

Like always - I welcome your comments and the discussions on the topics of the day! Join the conversation on Facebook, in our forums on www.beltdrivebetty.com or right here in this blog!

In other news:

The Justice for All Rally in Surrey BC- the one regarding Cpl Monte Robinson is being held on March 9th.

In Quebec, the former home of Hells Angel Mom Boucher is now a restaurant.

Southwest Vancouver Island, BC announces circle tours

Georgia is newest state to announce plans to allow motorcyclists to treat red lights like stop signs.

In Regent North Dakota, plans for the world's largest motorcycle sculpture are under way

In Minnesota, ABATE recently lobbied at the state Capitol to protect the rights and safety of all motorcyclists.

Have a great Wednesday everyone!

Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider
www.beltdrivebetty.com
www.bustedknucklechronicles.com

I really wonder...what is going on.

There has been a whole ton in the news about the various OMC's around the world.

In Australia the Bandidos patched over to the Hells Angels - one of the largest defections in Australia's history and the police services are nervous.

Then in Seattle, the Mongols have been recruiting and that has authorities nervous.

Biker Bill was arrested for recording a police officer during a traffic stop.

The motorcycle only check points coming soon in Georgia - in time for Daytona Bike week have riders upset.

The OMC's have been in the news feeds steady and these motorcycle only check points have been in the feeds a lot too, so what pray tell is going on out there?

Tons of news about the various trials around the globe from Montreal to Nanaimo and right across the US and Australia.

http://www.beltdrivebetty.com/index.php/latest-law-and-politics/360-contacts/9474-judge-denies-motions-to-dismiss-and-remand-in-hells-angels-case

http://www.beltdrivebetty.com/index.php/latest-law-and-politics/359-contacts/9425-two-hells-angels-sent-to-prison

http://www.beltdrivebetty.com/index.php/latest-law-and-politics/359-contacts/9333-agency-gets-green-light-to-use-wiretaps-in-hells-angels-case

http://www.beltdrivebetty.com/index.php/latest-law-and-politics/359-contacts/9316--nanaimo-hells-angels-lose-another-round-in-clubhouse-court-battle

Bizzare news like the city of NY ordering the Hells to remove a barricade from a bench outside their club house and the invite to the CBS attend a funeral in Arizona

Another bizarre one - A politician is a member of an OMC : http://www.beltdrivebetty.com/index.php/lastest-international/286-news-international-/9301-tory-politician-a-member-of-feared-biker-gang-

I wonder what is going on out there - it seems that not a day goes by without all of this high profile reporting on the OMC's. When I see what happened to Biker Bill and I hear about theses motorcycle only check points, I truly wonder if all of this "Stuff" is related or what....Your thoughts on this situation would be deeply appreciated.

There's a ton of other news out there today - visit www.beltdrivebetty.com to get your fill!

Thursday is the last day to vote on your favourite machine in the Beat the PMS Blues on Line Show 'n' Shine.   You do not have to be a member of our web site to vote - but we sure would love to earn you as a member!

We are hosting a couple of calendar contests - one called the Men of Motorcycling 2012 - we want a wee bit of beef cake for our Gal Caves...tank tops, wife beaters - wear em - we want to see your pipes! 

The other is the Real Lady's of Riding 2012....wear what you would when you ride!

We will have the submissions start on Thursday at noon AB time - in all there will be 13 contests - one for each month of the calendar - the same thing for the guys calendar - 13 contests - one for each month of the calendar.

Become a fan of Belt Drive Betty & The Busted Knuckle on Facebook for the information!

Look on the events link!

Have a fantastic Tuesday everyone - stay warm...I got a ton of book keeping and data entry work to do today and the witch I work for won't let me off the hook!

Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider
www.beltdrivebetty.com
www.bustedknucklechronicles.com

A retreat in Maui for lady riders

A gal I know via the Net, Eldonna Lewis Fernandez - the Pink Biker Chic - is hosting a retreat in Maui for the ladies.

12 ladies have the opportunity to book space, reserve a Harley and spend 7 days re charging their emotional and spiritual batteries.

How cool would that be? I wonder what life long friendships would come out of a retreat like that. Pink Biker Chic is a motivational speaker, award winning author and a 23 year veteran of the US Military and the editor of GO PINK Magazine.

Eldonna works very hard empowering women veterans and bikers to take charge of their lives by taking the handle bars of life and riding to where they want to go.

Morgan, the British Car Company is bringing back their three wheeler that originally debuted in 1909 and sold until 1953. The funky looks of the Morgan are retained and the new technology should make it a fun ride.

The cops in Australia are concerned - approximately 60 members of the Bandidos have patched over to the Hells Angels. The police state it is the largest defection in the history of Australia and they feel it was brought on because the Mongols have set up a chapter in the central coast area.

Defections like this, have, in the past caused huge violence.

Concern is heating up over the NHTSA Motorcycle Only Check Points proposed for Georgia - just in time for Daytona Bike Week.

If you are travelling to bike week - make sure your are 100% legit or you could find your holiday marred with heavy fines.

Wade in on the topics of the day - I love the dialogue!

Well gang - the weather here in Grande Prairie is -40 again. I am so ready for riding weather.

There are 4 days left to vote for your favourite machines in the Beat the PMS Blues on line Show 'n' Shine...

Have a GREAT Monday and I will chat with you all again tomorrow.

Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider
www.beltdrivebetty.com
www.bustedknucklechronicles.com

Motorcycle Only Check Points

The National Highway Transportation Safety Association in the US  has begun funding Motorcycle Only Check Points. Their rational is to reduce injury by inspecting the tires, handlebars, lights, exhaust systems and helmets of riders.


Here is a letter from the AMA asking for a halt to the program:
http://www.asphaltandrubber.com/news/nhtsa-funding-motorcycle-only-checkpoints/


Read a letter from the NHTSA disputing the call from the AMA to halt the check points: http://www.asphaltandrubber.com/news/nhtsa-resposne-ama-letter/


I am really quite dismayed that we are even discussing this ridiculous and blatant mis management of tax payer dollars but talk about it we must.


Why is the NHTSA not simply adding motorcycle inspections to the already existing vehicle inspections? Why are they not being inspected the same way cars, trucks and semis are inspected for safety and their insurance?


Now I know things are done differently from state to state the way they are here in Canada from province to province - but wouldn't requiring a safety inspection in a proper facility make far more sense than road side inspections?  The NHTSA gets its legality from the Drink Driving Check Stops - but those check stops are for ALL vehicles.  The AMA rightly contends that these check points are illegal and the US Congress has been urging the NHSTA to halt the program.


If you look at this document from the NHTSA: http://www.nhtsa.gov/nhtsa/Cfc_title49/MVS01092008.pdf


You will see that there are measures for dealing with illegal equipment.
If the lights in question, the exhaust systems in question and beanies are illegal to possess - then why are they allowed to be manufactured and sold? The same holds true of handlebars - if Apes are illegal then why are they allowed to be manufactured and sold? The tires issue - well - that one I am unsure of as is the AMA and the NHSTA never answered what they mean about tires being unsafe. If they are talking about under inflated tires or thread bare I guess they might have an issue there - but for the rest of it? Come On...


The Babysitters of the world are getting out of hand. It is as if these lawmakers craft laws then forget about them or refuse to enforce them just so they can craft another one. It is as if the WANT to make crooks and offenders out of honest hard working people.
Either that or the seedy politician who crafts them is just trying to go down in the history books and make a name for them self...


Look at the Edmonton Motorcycle Only Noise bylaw.  The provincial law provides a remedy for loud trucks - $115 fine, loud cars - $115, loud motorcycles $115 and for stunting - $400 + demerits.


I shake my head at these people who think that violating one segment of the motorized public is a smart thing to do. I have a question for all of the smart people - Can I call all RCMP officers "DRUNK" because 5 officers in the Delta area of BC were charged with impaired driving - some of them while on duty from December 1 - 31 of 2009?
Can I as a citizen ask a breathalyser to be done on every police officer before, during and after their shift to ensure they aren't drunk?


In my humble opinion, this profiling that is going on, of our community is disgusting.


From the Canadian Encyclopedia: (http://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?Params=A1ARTA0006458&PgNm=TCE)
Prejudice refers to an unsubstantiated negative prejudgement of individuals or groups, usually because ofETHNICITY, RELIGION or race (see RACISM), but it could be based on any quality, including gender, age, physical appearance or disability. Discrimination is the exclusion of individuals or groups from full participation in society because of prejudice. Prejudice (an attitude) and discrimination (behaviour) are usually linked, but they are distinct phenomena. In a vicious circle, prejudice frequently leads to discriminatory behaviour while discrimination reinforces or creates social and economic inequalities which then reinforce prejudices. End quote.


Now I know all about the charter and how little it really protects us - but somewhere, somehow there has to be a case against the singling out of motorcycles and holding motorcyclists to a different standard than other motorized vehicle owners.


My sense of indignation on this issue is huge.
Anytime one group of people is treated differently and unfairly when compared to the rest of the world it is wrong.


I know that driving and riding are a privilege - does that mean that the drivers of cars, trucks, mini vans, SUV's and semis are more special, more privileged than motorcyclists? 
Or that they are some how special under the law and that they can contravene the law but motorcyclists can't?


I would love to see the day when professional truck drivers act like professional and don't use their engine retarder brakes in city limits and that when they do, the police actually charge them.


I would like to see the day come when police offers are not texting on their cell phones while they drive - like the Edmonton City officer I saw yesterday do - I wished I would have thought to use my phone camera for that one. I wished that every politician saw their job as one of common sense and exercised it when they spent our money....


I would love your thoughts and opinions on this topic - it should provide many of us something to think about next elections...


You have a great Thursday - I am off for two days of sales calls and heading home Saturday afternoon...


Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider
www.beltdrivebetty.com 
www.bustedknucklechronicles.com 

Ontario - I hope you are prepared to vote in OCTOBER!!!!

My least favourite MPP - Helena Jazcek has been nominated to run again for the Liberal Party in Ontario in the provincial elections in October.

Ontario Motorcyclists it is your duty to get out and vote and ensure this viciously ridiculous (IMHO) MPP does not grace the halls of legislature in Ontario ever again. Because this woman was a doctor she has appointed herself as keeper of the motorized recreational community - being a doctor does not give her the right to dictate to people what level of risk they should feel comfortable with for themselves or their kids.

It is my fondest hope that Ontario riders send a clear and concise message to her and the Liberal Party - WE DON'T NEED ANYMORE BABYSITTING LAWS.

I am sick to death of politicians wasting our tax dollars on the ridiculous when there are so many important things like road ways that need desperate attention. Roads are key to tourism and commerce and they keep getting neglected by municipal and provincial governments as do other major infrastructure issues - all in favour of some glory seeking politician that wants to see their name in lights so to speak.

Take a case in point in Edmonton where city lawyers want to appeal the decision to throw out the tickets given to Stuart Young. It was determined by the commissioner who heard the case that the tests - based on solid evidence - have not been being conducted properly among other things and yet these lawyers at the behest of the city of Edmonton now want to press the courts to have the decision over turned. I shake my head at the utter and disgusting waste. As a taxpayer I resent this sort of thing. To me it is a flagrant waste.

If the city really wants to crack down on noise by rude and insufferable people then they should be following provincial law, ticketing ALL offenders at the same rate and using the stunting law far more often which carries a far heavier fine and the loss of demerits.

If this bylaw was truly about noise then it would cover ALL vehicles and road users not just one segment - but like so many things political,  this bylaw appears to be about a popularity contest, glory and self gratification and MONEY - it is a cash grab for the city and an open door to violate the riders of motorcycles by the police services.

The J2825 standard is a HARD test to get right from what my research has shown. (YouTube Video Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KdYUhH3JSo) There are so many things that affect the accuracy of the measurement. The officers trained - 35 of them - were trained in one day from my understanding. 

Ah well, I hope the MIC and the MMIC rest easy knowing that their god intention to prevent discrimination has resulted in far more discrimination and the ability under law for the police services to pull over any motorcycle they chose.  To me this ranks right up there with NHTSA and it's motorcycle only check points. 

The police services - no matter which one you deal with - have a tendency to look at every rider and every bike as if we are all either members of an outlaw motorcycle club or that we are all really tight supporters of those clubs with potential for inside information. I do not understand that mentality at all but hey - maybe it's because I am a female...

Yes Ontario - you NEED to get it together for the elections in October and I am gonna keep hammering at you to remind you of what Helena Jazcek has attempted to do to our community.

We must be focused - we need to route out those who would attempt to curb our freedoms. There is no more powerful voice than the voice of thousands who are united to prevent a loss of freedom - of the right to choose.

There is lots of news to check out over on www.beltdrivebetty.com

We are entering the final stage of voting in the Beat the PMS Blues on line Show 'n' Shine

You can cast your votes for your favourite machines every day until March 3rd at midnight!

I have a busy day ahead so I am going to sign off for now - have a fabulous Hump Day everyone!

Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider
www.beltdrivebetty.com
www.bustedknucklechronicles.com

Talk about a roller coaster ride....

The Red Deer Motorcycle was an extremely small show - reminiscent of when it first started over at the Capri Hotel's conference center the very first year - back in the day when I was its first event coordinator.


The biggest difference from the first year to this year is that the Capri did not afford one to have the entertainment that was offered. The stunt shows and the trials riding, the littles riding around - no, you couldn't do that over at the Capri.  
Was it a bad thing that it was a smaller show this year? Yes and NO.


On the yes side - financially it had to be tough on the show host. Some of the spectators didn't like that it was a smaller show BUT - it did give people more time to visit, to really talk to the vendors - to mill about and truly enjoy the offerings. 


Our booth was so busy and I want to thank Kim Newberry of the Rockin' the Valley Show 'n' Shine in Drayton Valley for not only being there to promote her community's show but pitching in to help out promoting the Busted Knuckle and the Biker's Discount Buying Club.


And my buddy Gracie for helping out as well - she did such an awesome job - and Barry, thanks for the place to hang my hat, I did miss you and your fabulous - famous hugs. I hope work is going well for you.


The reason that I can go to so many of these motorcycle shows and collect hugs - sell subscriptions to the news paper and promote all of the events,  and everything we do at Belt Drive Betty is because my friends, my community help me out.


I repay them by paying it forward (among other things). It has a been a philosophy I have lived by all my life.


That brings me to the low point in my weekend.


Some one handed me a copy of an email, first thing in the morning - the person didn't want to do it but felt they had to - to inform and protect me. I read the letter and I started to cry. I was gutted. The letter was written by someone from a well known riding club and is also a part of a brand new non profit and this person accused me of misappropriation of funds and of threatening people.


It took me a few minutes to digest this accusation - I made a few phone calls, asked a few people I respect for some advice, I got angry, I was hurt and then I did what I always do - I sought help from my community.


I went to a member of the CMA and said I need a prayer circle. I am not religious person but rather a spiritual one - I understand the power of many minds thinking the same thing, being on the same energy level and the power that positive thought. I understand and  believe in the power of the law of love, the law of attraction amongst other things. 
The people from the Red Deer and Edmonton CMA chapters that I know are loving and ethical, kind and balanced people and they too are believers in the power of love.


The person I sought out is some one I love, admire and respect as a friend - he is someone who will tell you what he feels - regardless whether you want to hear it or not and always does his best to steer you in the right direction.


As Belt Drive Betty, I am in the public a lot, and I have come to understand many things about being out there as a public figure - being a public person has a lot of highs and positives but it can also increase the risk of people who want to tear you down. 
I am a pretty grounded individual these days for the most part (it wasn't always that way). 
I still get excited and angry about things like this but I am learning how to deal with these scenarios much better - I have had some wonderful mentors and teachers showing me the way.


The CMA prayed for me, asking for the right words to be given to me to meet this accusation head on. To do it with dignity and grace, empathy and common sense.


I went away feeling back on track and balanced and went about the rest of my day focusing on the people I had come to see - the riders of our community. In no time I was back to being myself, laughing, hugging, enjoying my life, my community. That night, I went to my friend's, got on the computer, started writing, reading and researching stuff.


I left what I wrote over night, I went to bed thanking my higher power for helping me and had a great sleep. I got up at 5 am - re read what I had written and spent the next 4 and a half hours crafting a pair of letters.


The result of what I wrote made me feel content, balanced and grounded.
I am not happy being put in the position where until my name is cleared I will not work for the charities by selling their stuff for them - unless it is something I myself own and I am donating a portion of the proceeds to them I am not touching it.


I will not put myself in the position of handling anyone else's cash. 
I refuse to to put the charities and causes that I work for in the position where they could be judged wrongly or ostracized for working with me.
I will still promote everything I can like the runs and the groups etc I just will not handle the funds - we will just have to figure out creative ways to help out - I just want to ensure I am totally distanced.


I for one feel that the only thing a person truly owns is your integrity and so I am contacting the proper people, through my attorney to force a forensic audit to prove that as a volunteer - I never took anything and was not the treasurer, and going to look into having an investigation done to prove that I did not threaten or ask anyone else to threaten people. 


Once a forensic audit is done and my name is cleared I can go back to doing things differently but until then I want to look after the people around me.


The person who wrote this email sent it out to their riding club's membership of about 800-1000 people through their web site. Some of these people may know me and know who I am - others won't. The potential for rumor and innuendo is huge, not mention damage to my reputation and business and hence I have chosen to come right out and tell you what rocked my world and put me on an emotional roller coaster. 


The person who wrote the email did send out a subsequent email stating that there was no proof of what was written and that it was simply the opinion of the writer but none the less - the damage has been done. It was no apology and for sure not a retraction - it was an apology to the riding club for using their email blast to put it out there though.


My good name is all I truly own and I want it restored.


I have come to learn that there are some people who will destroy the good things for others out of their need for control or a sense of importance, some are just hateful and some are just - I don't know - selfish? Is that a good word? 


Sadly - this person has caused a whole lot of work and discomfort for a whole lot of people - the good news is - it is only an inconvenience. The truth will prevail and in that I believe.

Like everyday I invite you to get in on the topics of the day - I appreciate the feedback and the opportunity for growth and learning.

Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider
www.beltdrivebetty.com
www.bustedknucklechronicles.com