Healing broken minds...and devastated hearts

Like many, my heart has been wrenched by the shootings in Connecticut.

My mind has been struggling to make sense of it all - why did this happen?

There are so many people who are affected by what transpired at the Sandy Hook Elementary School.
There are families who have been ripped apart, first responders and survivors who have to live with the horrors and images and the guilt of having survived.
Then there is a nation and a world that is shocked.

There are literally millions of people asking the question "Why?"

From everything I have read, 20-year-old Adam Peter Lanza, was a troubled young man.

He had a demanding mother, he was socially awkward, he was described by many as repressed, not connected. There are many speculating as to why that is. Reports are circulating that Adam was autistic, I suppose at some point we will learn more about this broken soul, in the meantime, I have some thoughts on this subject and it is my hopes that I can relieve my heartache some and maybe yours by sharing some conversation.

There is an old saying that it takes a village to raise a child.

Bullying happens not just at school, but at home too.

I was a child who was bullied by her mother.  My mother had very high expectations and zero patience. She was an alcoholic who liked no one, not even herself and pushed everyone who loved her, away.

Until the age of 12 my father was my hero, my knight in shining armour, my saviour. He used to take us kids out ski-dooing and tobogganing, for Sunday drives. When I hit 12, things changed - my father became my worst nightmare.

So here I was, with a mother who liked to beat on me physically and mentally, who spoke the cruelest of words and had no tolerance for mistakes or tardiness on one side of me, and a father who treated me like a wife - physically and mentally. No one was protecting me, I was a pawn in my parent's chess game.

In school, I was socially awkward, I had all of these horrible secrets living inside of me.
I felt dirty, unlovable, broken.

No one at school asked me any questions or reached out to me. Not even those I looked to for friendship. In fact, I was bullied and taunted by the "cool" people and even those I called friend, people who did things to me no human being should have to suffer.

Our parish priest never reached out, neither did my teachers.

I had to look after my two brothers and my sister, I cooked the family meals, did the majority of the housework and began working at a very early age to get out of the house.
Work became my salvation for many reasons - it helped me to see that other people lived differently - that things could be different.

At 17, I was on nerve pills and tranquillizers, there was a painful battle going on in my mind, I was so tormented, I wanted to save me and I wanted to help my siblings, but I felt powerless.  My doctors never asked why I was such a bundle of nerves - no one it seemed cared enough to ask.

Through lots of counselling and self exploration, I have come to a place of peace with all of those terrible things that people did to me. I have come to understand that the people who hurt me, were themselves hurt and broken. Too often the victim becomes the victimizer.
We become what we are taught.

Do I understand what motivated Ryan Lanza? In some ways, I believe I might.

You see, many times as a young woman I wanted to kill my mother - I wanted to kill my father - I  wanted to kill myself, I wanted the pain to stop, I wanted to quit feeling powerless.
I wanted someone to love me, to fix me so I could be loveable.

And so today, I think to myself, there but for the grace of God go I.  

My daughter once asked me how I became as "normal" as I am - this after a particularly brutal experience with my mother....

I told her that - "You never came with an instruction manual, and I was brought up being taught the wrong messages. All I could do as I raised you my girl, was to do something different than what had been done to me and to be honest with you when I felt I was wrong regarding my conduct and actions towards you."

Our systems in North America are broken, they always have been - they have been flawed right from the beginning if you ask me. We do not teach our children the real tools to living successfully.

We do not teach them that their thoughts are powerful, we do not teach them how to be of service to each other.

We have been taught and encouraged, to be selfish.
We have been taught to stay small in our thinking and our capacity to care - to be empathetic.
We have been encouraged to be self indulgent and self involved.

We give everything a label, we focus on illness and lack - the poor me syndrome abounds.
We wear dis- ease like an excuse to not expect better of ourselves - we have become martyrs to our circumstances and our feelings.

We fight against everything we dislike instead of working towards what we want.
We focus on the bad - more often than not.
And as a result the war on terror brings more terror, the war on drugs brings more drugs.

Thoughts are powerful things.  
Look around you, everything you see started with a thought, from the lightbulb that lights your room to the fan that cools you, someone had to think about the creation before it came to be.

Over the years there have been many great teachers who have imparted information on how to live a full, rewarding and abundant life.

The message is delivered differently but it is always the same:

"All that we are is a result of what we have thought." Buddha (563 BCE-483 BCE)

"What you resist persists". Carl Jung (1875-1961)

"The vibrations of mental forces are the finest and consequently the most powerful in existence".
Charles Haanel (1866-1949)

"Every thought of yours is a real thing - a force". Prentice Mulford (1834-1891)

Thoughts become things". Mike Dooley

”Watch your thoughts; they become words.
Watch your words; they become actions.
Watch your actions; they become habits.
Watch your habits; they become character.
Watch your character; for it becomes your destiny.”
Upanishads

”Change your thoughts and you change your world.” Norman Vincent Peale

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.” -Mahatma Gandhi

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napoleon Hill

Children Learn What They Live

If children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with ridicule, they learn to feel shy.
If children live with jealousy, they learn to feel envy.
If children live with shame, they learn to feel guilty.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.
If children live with approval, they learn to like themselves.
If children live with recognition, they learn it is good to have a goal.
If children live with sharing, they learn generosity.
If children live with honesty, they learn truthfulness.
If children live with fairness, they learn justice.
If children live with kindness and consideration, they learn respect.
If children live with security, they learn to have faith in themselves and in those about them.
If children live with friendliness, they learn the world is a nice place in which to live.
Copyright © 1972 by Dorothy Law Nolte

How many of you are too busy earning a living and the toys you want to spend time with your children, guiding them, loving them - being patient - teaching and leading by example?

When was the last time you did something for someone just because you could, with no strings attached - no expectation of anything in return?

When was the last time you met someone who looked uncomfortable, sad, broken and you reached out your hand in empathy and caring to support them, to find out about them, to be kind to them?

I will never know how different my life could have been had someone, anyone reached out to me  - but I do know this - over the course of my life, whether they knew it or not, there have been people who shared the smallest tidbits of wisdom that somehow penetrated the cement that was building around my heart and mind - that created cracks in the fortress of protection I was building, that allowed me to see a different way...

This is the credo that has become my life...

“Each time I perform an act of kindness, a part of me heals.”
― Lupi Ngcayisa
Taking away guns is never going to stop tragedies like this one in Connecticut from happening. Punishing the many for the sins/crimes of the few NEVER works.
Just look around you and you know it is so.

So how do we heal hearts and minds and change things?

By becoming invested in being the change we want to see in the world.

If you want to see more love, you have to give it.
If you want to see more patience you have to give it.
If you want to see peace, you have to act from a place of peace.
If you want to see more kindness, you have to extend it.

Do to others as you would have them do to you.  Luke 6:31

BE THE CHANGE YOU WANT TO SEE IN THE WORLD .

In the wise words of Mother Theresa:
“The way you help heal the world is you start with your own family.”

And that's where my heart is today.

Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider

Killer driver's sentence being reviewed

It's been a busy week and I have not blogged much. 
I made some time this morning because I want to share with you that Tracy Dawn Smith's case is being reviewed. I shared it on Facebook but also feel it needs to be shared in a much broader way than that.

I am glad to see that there has been enough public out cry over the Tracy Dawn Smith decision that there is a review being conducted. That review board needs to know that people are severely pissed.  On their Facebook Page, Adelle Tompkins from B.C.C.O.M. has provided contact information for those who are outraged by the Smith decision.  

And in my humble opinion - unless you say something to the people who can do something about it - it's just whining. BDB

Crown Council Victoria
Telephone: 250 387-4481 
Email: Not Available

Facsimile: 250 387-2828 
URL: Not Available

Service Number: 1-888-339-1188

Mailing Address: PO BOX 9245

STN PROV GOVT

Victoria BC

V8W3E6 CANADA

Email: mcu@justice.gc.ca

premier@gov.bc.ca

shirley.bond@gov.bc.ca

tasha.schollen@gov.bc.ca

james.beresford@gov.bc.ca

lori.wanamaker@gov.bc.ca

richard.fyfe@gov.bc.ca

tasha.schollen@gov.bc.ca

The Honourable Robert Douglas Nicholson

Minister of Justice and Attorney General of Canada

284 Wellington Street

Ottawa, Ontario K1A 0H8

So that's what's on my mind today - how about yours? Anything on your mind you want to get off your chest?

There's lots of news in the feeds this morning and I urge you to check them out at www.beltdrivebetty.com where our work is keeping You informed.

I leave you with a few funnies and some inspiration, shared with me by friends on Facebook and via email!

Have a fabulous weekend everyone,

Belt Drive Betty

Editor & Rider

A brighter Christmas - and a HUGE thank you!

Today I have many people to thank. We held a quick auction over the weekend to raise some funds for the employees of Mountain Man Services in Lake Cowichan on Vancouver Island BC.

Mark Mullen and his mom Kristina Toomey donated a full set of the original cast of SOA prints to the cause and while we did not hit my mark of $900 we were darned close. We raised $750.

It was fabulous that in spite of it being so close to Christmas - so many got involved. The first day of the auction I was concerned as it didn't seem to be going well and I desperately wanted us to raise some good coin, but in true biker fashion, it picked up steam on day two and concluded well.

Kristina and Mark - thank you for your generosity and paying it forward attitude.
To all who bid whether you won or not - thank you for getting involved and for those who could not afford to jump in on an auction but promoted it to your friends via Facebook and Twitter -THANK YOU.

It's a tough time of year for everyone. We all have our own families to think about, presents to buy and I have to say, I am, as usual awed by the generosity of so many.

Without you, we have some at risk youth who would not be going back to work!

We have enough Canadian Tire Money and cash to kit out 4 of the employees so that they can get back to work. We will be collecting Canadian Tire Money right through January so keep on sending it!

The gift of Jobs for Christmas - what a better way to celebrate Christmas is there than knowing these young people can continue being bread winners for their families. THANK YOU EVERYONE!

We only have a few days left in our Johnny Pag & Belt Drive Betty have a secret contest.

You could win some fabulous swag from Johnny Pag and Belt Drive Betty - all you have to do is log in to www.beltdrivebetty.com and make a guess!

I am like a little kid right now busting at the seams to make the announcement which will come via the Busted Knuckle's lead article!  If you don't get the newspaper we will be making the announcement later in the morning on Thursday on Facebook & Twitter.

I actually have some other big news coming down the pipes that we will announce (hopefully) just before Christmas. It has to do with our new TV series - Belt Drive Betty -Ride Like a Local...all the contracts are done with Eastlink and the show will be promoted on 10 specialty channels and aired 6 days a week from June to December. As soon as we have the details all worked out for our big announcement - I'll be letting you in on it!

The news feeds aren't overly busy yet this morning - I had two cats wake me up at 3 AM and could not fall back to sleep so I decided to get up and get at it this morning!

We will be checking them periodically all day long so stay tuned to www.beltdrivebetty.com where our work is keeping You informed!

In today's news:

In Ottawa - the Ottawa International Bike Show is getting geared up!

Toronto just finished up the Power Sports Services show.

30,000 bikers turned out for the Sun Run to aid sick children in Florida

Another 1,500 turned out in LA for the Skid Row toy run.

In Long Beach - a police officer rides his first electric motorcycle.

In Australia - it appears the government is finally listening to bikers.

I leave you with a few funnies, shared with me by friends on Facebook and via email - have a good giggle cause soon you'll be fully awake and realize that it's MONDAY!

Have a fantastic week everyone!
Belt Drive Betty
Editor & Rider

3 stories in 24 hours show us just how badly broken our justice system really is if you are a biker/rider.

Last night we received word that Tracy Dawn Smith, who killed motorcyclist Janarthan Mehanthiran, lovingly known as Jana, would spend one day in jail, 3 years under probation, do 200 hours of community service work and be banned from driving ban for ten years.

According to the article Tracy Dawn Smith has the cognitive functions of a nine year old

Begin Quote: Higinbotham also took into account that Smith was assessed to have the cognitive functions of a nine-year-old and has had a life filled with both physical and sexual abuse during her childhood, and then later in life, with rampant addiction and mental health problems. End Quote

First question - how did she get a drivers license to begin with?

Second question - how does someone with the cognitive functions of a nine year old come to drive a Lexus?

Third question - how can this sentence be so light when this woman was already under a ban?

Begin Quote: Smith is already under a number of bail conditions linked to an assault charge from April 9, including not possessing or consuming alcohol. End Quote

Fourth question - what message does this sentence send others who drive impaired?

Where is the justice in this for Jana? For his family? And what about the rest of the people who share the highway? 

So much for impaired driving laws meaning anything.

And then we have the travesty of what the government of our country is doing to the Hells Angels.
Whether you believe they are a criminal organization or not is totally besides the point here.
The fact of the matter is that people with no criminal record are being deported from Canada because they are members of the club.

In an article in the National Post today we learn that "Alejandro Mariano Chung, 43, a citizen of Chile who came to Canada in 1979 but never obtained Canadian citizenship, is the latest man tied to the world’s largest and most notorious biker gang to be deported for his involvement with the bikers."

Begin Quote: Almost all of the members of the Manitoba chapter have criminal records, mostly convictions for drug trafficking, their primary criminal activity, police said. In Ontario, 67.2% of Hells Angels members had a criminal conviction, 43% drug-related, police said.

“The business of the Hells Angels is crime,” the IRB ruled. “From the organization’s point of view it would make no sense to invest time in bringing Mr. Chung up through the ranks unless he was going to be part of their criminal activity.”

The IRB declared the Hells Angels a criminal organization and Mr. Chung — despite only being a prospect — as a member. Membership in a criminal organization is grounds for inadmissibility to Canada under the immigration act.

He was deported last month but has filed an appeal with the Federal Court of Canada, seeking to return.

The government is increasingly using immigration law, where the burden of proof is lower than in criminal court, to target the Hells Angels. End Quote

I guess that since the police services are unable to do their jobs and make charges stick against these "criminal gang members" and the courts in this country obviously have problems (long wait times, not enough judges and in my humble opinion judges with questionable thinking skills) that this is the only way they can get rid of what they deem to be a criminal element.

Then let's look at another story - this one again from the National Post about an American rider who made a mistake.  

This rider who is going on a 12,000 mile trip - a 26 year old college student named Kraig Jacobson is detained in Canada for 4 months because he had brought a pistol with him and didn't declare it at the border.

According to the article, "My brother and I decided to go on a 12,000-mile road trip on our motorcycles and also raise money for the [American Cancer Society’s] Relay for Life. We were going to be camping a lot, so a friend suggested I bring my pistol for protection against wild animals."

Begin Quote: 

Q What happened after you were taken into custody at Niagara’s Rainbow Bridge border crossing?
A We had heard Niagara Falls had a better view on the Canadian side and we were just going over the border for 20 minutes to take a look. I’m very nervous around authority figures and when the guard asked me if I had a weapon I panicked, thinking I was going to get in trouble, so I said, “No.” He waved me over to another officer, who again asked me if I had any weapons. I said, “Yes,” thinking they would give me a second chance — but they did not.

Q You spent 18 days in detention before being released to live with friends while your case was resolved. While incarcerated were you, as the stereotype goes, treated politely?
A Yeah, I hear that compared to the U.S. it’s not bad at all. But you still have to make sure you’re not stepping on other people’s toes. I saw fights in there, mostly over really dumb stuff like a guy who got punched in the face over a sticky bun.


Q How did you wrap up the case and get home?
A My lawyer advised we should plead guilty and argue the sentence down, but it still took 3½ months before I was finally released. I had to pay $1,000 to get my bike out of seizure and drove it out of Ontario, but then it got really cold, Hurricane Sandy hit and then it snowed on me in Pennsylvania. I had to leave the bike in Cleveland and take a flight home. End Quote

So there you have it folks - Three articles within 24 hours that show you just how badly broken things are in the justice system in this country.

What do these three stories show me?

Well, making a mistake as a visitor to this country is gonna cost you dearly - in the case of Kraig Jacobson - 18 days in jail, $20,000 in costs and being detained in this country for almost 4 months and a ban from ever entering our country again.

In the case of being a Hells Angel - you get deported if you are not a citizen and can be denied entrance in this country regardless of the fact that you have no criminal record, because you are a club member.

But when you kill someone, if you have a sad enough story you can literally get away with murder.

Is it just me? Am I the only one who thinks that things need to be fixed in the justice system?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

There is a lot of stuff in the feeds today that might affect your day or life as a rider, I encourage you to visit our web site www.beltdrivebetty.com where our work is keeping You informed.

I want to remind everyone that the Gift of Jobs for Christmas SOA art auction begins today. 9 fabulous piece of art up for grabs.....the proceeds will be going to the employees of Mountain Man Services in Lake Cowichan BC on Vancouver Island - they lost all of their work gear in a fire and the owner was uninsured (insurance in BC is worth your new born - another topic that drives me around the bend - but that;s a discussion for another day).

Please join us to help get these people back to work...

I leave you with a few funnies, shared with me by friends on Facebook and through emails - I really need to find the humour in the day...

Try to have a fabulous weekend everyone.

Belt Drive Betty

Editor & Rider

Canadian Riding Clubs & Events - A christmas offer we hope you can't turn down!

How can working with Belt Drive Betty Media help your riding club or events?

We here at Belt Drive Betty Media are riders, just like you.
We believe in the ride, the community and the sense of family riding brings.

We are a multi media company that can offer you a ton of ways to share information with other riders about your group, your events, your ride nights, your community and your membership.

Our NATIONAL Events Calendars are available on our web site, in a mobile format, in an App and are HIGHLY shareable.  We also print the events listings in our newspaper in March, April and into May!

They are broken down by province and type of event! Download Link: http://m.magmito.com/105563/mctravel

     

Our weekly community newspaper, the Busted Knuckle Chronicles is a place for the riding community to share its stories; it’s triumphs and heartaches – a place to celebrate being a rider and that entails.

Our newspaper goes out in a newsletter every Thursday morning; the paper is produced 48 times a year and the newsletter – 52 weeks a year! You only get one email a week from us. Our goal is to provide all the info we can in one email.

We accept submissions from riding clubs and offer you a free place to get your message out to the larger riding community.   

The featured stories from the paper go live on our web site every week and NOW those stories go to an App!

  This App is being released late December 2012

Belt Drive Betty dot Com is the place to tell the rest of Canada what you are up to, why they should join you or look you up when they come through your community. 

Our website, www.beltdrivebetty.com is enjoying an average of 2 million page views per month, 78,000 Unique visitors and 191,000 visits per month! 

Remember on Facebook you can only share inside of Facebook, but from our web site you can share into Facebook, hence why having a membership on our site and sharing stuff you have posted on our web site just makes sense! You build your audience by networking, combining our audience with yours! BUT - IF YOU ARE Overwhelmed by technology, confused by too many apps and tools - We've got your back!  You can ALWAYS simply email your event information, stories, etc to  events@beltdrivebetty.com  We'll make sure it gets to the right place. 

Our web site and newspaper are a free place to share your stories about special volunteers, rides and events and I would encourage you to send your articles in to us!  We can help spread the information!

Or better yet, become a member and submit them through our site and take advantage of all of the other tools we offer like free classified ads, member only contests, The Road Trips Rewards™ Card, The Rider Friendly Phone Book, the Canadian Riders Support Network, The Never Ride Alone Program and More!

This App is being released late December 2012

We are here to serve you, and help you grow your local events and community through the sharing and networking tools that are integrated in our web site.

Our services are free - all except the newspaper's subscription fee which is $20/year.
BUT...If your executive feels our offerings have benefit your group, let me know by email (bdbetty @ gmail.com fix the spaces)and then add our banner or a link to your site or Facebook page.

Then tell your members to register on www.beltdrivebetty.com - in the PROMO CODE AREA they should use: Riding Clubs and make sure they tell us what club they are with – once we have verified our banner/link on your site - as our way of  truly being a sponsor...

EVERY RIDER who signs up on our site from your club will get the community newspaper and have benefit of all of the features of our site! FOR FREE - we won't charge you for the newspaper subscription - it's our Christmas present to our community. 

We'll even sponsor free subscriptions as door prizes or goodie bag for your events, just email me to discuss getting you the subscription cards for handing out! 

Oh and don’t forget the Road Trip Rewards Card is good for special services and offerings at over 250 Canadian Businesses! The virtual card is located on everyone's unique profile page and the can either load it into their smart phone by snapping a picture of it or print it off. They can also come to some of the different events we are at and get hard plastic cards!

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If you are a Facebook based group you can connect with us and take advantage of our network there...and on our web site. When you give us permission to help you we will make sure your stuff gets out to the rest of our network whenever possible - but it is super appreciated when you also add your stuff to our web site and it's so easy to to!

Belt Drive Betty & The Busted Knuckle Chronicles - this is my fan page, we post a wide variety of stuff - so like us and check in often!

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Get hooked up with us by liking the pages that fit for you!

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Specialty Pages:

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We can also be followed on LinkedIn, Twitter, Google+, Pinterest and YouTube!

And don't forget my National Conga is coming up - I will be riding from the Yukon to Newfoundland and filming for a new Travel and Tourism show on Eastlink Cable and Video on Demand called Ride Like a Local as well as my own YouTube Chanel - BDB TV!

We have the ways and means to help spread the word about your riding club and it's events...let us know if we can be of service!

I leave you with a few funnies shared with me by friends on Facebook and by emails, laughter makes everything better.

Belt Drive Betty

Editor & Rider